A seaman and his wife

Ode to Seaman..... As we speak two lives are simultaneously being lived. A man on one side of the world is braving the oceans. His everyday scene is aboard a ship solitarily floating around or occasionally being tossed around by waves as big as the ship itself.
Despite what is happening around the man, he seems undeterred. He continuous to do his job religiously; he tackles mountains
of paperwork; he stands watch round the clock. He seems to be always busy inspecting many technical gadgets and sorts…and when he finally gets time to rest, he goes to his lonely cabin…before lying down he takes out a glossy piece of paper from his wallet… he stares at that glossy piece of paper for some time until he finally falls asleep with tears flowing down his cheeks.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away from the man on the ship, a woman is just as busy going about her day. Round the clock she seems to find herself busy; her life seems to be consumed by constant trips to the grocery or the market while balancing her budget. Every day, she finds herself cooking, doing the laundry, cleaning around the house and taking care of her children’s never ending list of needs. The list that she does goes on and on all day and every day. At the end of the day, when everything has been done, like the man on the ship she goes to her lonely bedroom…she picks up a framed piece of glossy paper from her nightstand… while she stares at the framed piece of paper, she takes out her rosary beads and prays from her heart. When her prayer is done, she rests her tired body and tries to get some sleep. When sleep finally comes her cheeks are also damp with tears.
On closer look at the two pieces of glossy papers, one would realize that they are identical. It’s an identical picture of a man standing behind a woman carrying a child on her lap…it’s a family portrait.
Looks like a scene straight out of a movie right? Sadly, those two lives are REAL. They represent thousands of husbands and wives, sons and parents, fathers and children, families around the world who are forced by circumstances to be worlds apart. They represent the lives of countless SEAFARERS and their loved ones who are separated by oceans.

Seafaring to those who do not fully understand it is perceived mainly as a high paying source of income. Here in the Philippines, when someone is known to be a SEAMAN, the first thing that comes to mind is DOLLARS… lots of it. Being a seaman in this country is synonymous to BIG HOUSES, FANCY CARS, LUXURY and WEALTH. Sadly when a parent insists Marine Transportation or Marine Engineering to his son, his first reason is the “DOLLARS” that will be earned when his son graduates. Becoming a seaman, along with other college degrees that enables a person to go outside of the country to earn foreign currencies, is perceived more often than not as a family’s last hope to emerge from POVERTY.
While it is true that seafaring does bring in MONEY and along with that a more stable and comfortable future for one’s family, it also entails a lot of sacrifices and difficulties that is not for the faint of heart. What are these sacrifices and difficulties? Well for starters, seafaring has major safety issues. A seaman is forced to work in an unsafe environment with high incidences of slipping and fracturing one’s body or being injured while operating heavy equipments; falling off ladders or falling overboard while doing one’s job dangling from the sides of the ship. These things can happen even on the smoothest of voyages. Can you imagine the working conditions onboard during bad weather? Let us not forget that the kind of cargo that the ship is carrying adds to the already long list of dangers. A tanker carrying oil, flammable gases and other volatile chemicals can erupt into oblivion with just one stray spark. To top it all off, let us add the fact that ships nowadays are constantly on guard against being held hostage by money hungry and greed driven pirates.

Seafaring also poses dangers to a seafarer’s health. Everyday seamen subject themselves to rigorous physical and mental work. They barely find time to sleep or much less eat. I am fully aware of the fact that when the human body is constantly being placed under stress it gives out just like a piece of machine that bugs down when it has reached its limit of capacity. After years of being under stress, a seafarer finds himself confronted by physical conditions such as Hypertension, Diabetes, Cardiac conditions; they eventually will have bad joints and painfully swollen varicose veins from hours of standing watch and working while standing; some will have Pulmonary conditions from years of inhaling fumes from chemicals and all sorts of gases. Some even have cardiac arrest or stroke while onboard. Being so far away at sea for many days make it difficult for medical care to be delivered on time during emergency situations. Although a few of the officers on board are trained to give emergency and basic medical care, their limited training could only stretch so far before proving insufficient in real medical emergencies.
A seafarer is also forced to live among people from different countries. This means that a ship is full of stressed and tired men with very different cultures, upbringing, beliefs, and religious and political orientations. It would only be a matter of time before those differences clash together and endanger their living conditions and relationships with each other.
Another obstacle that a seaman, especially the new ones, encounters at sea is loneliness and homesickness. Being away for months from their families brings even the most seasoned of seafarers to tears. Some who are emotionally unable to cope with the isolated conditions onboard end up suffering from mental instability. Also seafarers are “MEN” and very much HUMAN. Part of their physiologic make up is their primal sexual needs. Being away from the women in their lives also adds to their stress onboard which to some degree affects their focus in their work.

Perhaps the biggest sacrifice a seafarer has to give and overcome is leaving behind his family. Often times a seaman survives a contract without encountering any work related mishaps if he is extreme careful and adheres religiously to all safety protocols onboard. Many seamen even survive years on the job without getting sick onboard. Overtime a seaman finds ways to conquer homesickness especially nowadays with the help of countless communication technologies available. There is one thing though that every seaman in the world can never get back: QUALITY TIME SPENT WITH THEIR FAMILIES.
A seaman misses out on many important things that matter in the lives of his family. Imagine being a father and not being able to hold your wife’s hand while she gave birth to your children? Most if not all seamen did not hear their baby’s first word nor did he witness his baby’s first wobbly steps; he was not around to comfort or lend a soothing hand when his baby first fell and hurt his knees or broke his or her heart; he missed many if not all birthdays; he was not present during family days at school nor during recognition or graduation days. Even during weddings, a family photo could be without a father… I would know because I held only my shaky mother’s hand to the altar on my wedding day. All of these events can now be recorded on videos or through pictures but it will not take away the fact that YOU WERE NOT THERE when it happened.

So you see seafaring is not only about “DOLLARS.” The money that it brings is only a small but well deserved reward for all the difficulties a seaman has to go through. Becoming a seaman means giving the ULTIMATE SELFLESS SACRIFICE which is to forget one’s self and to give one’s life in order for his loved one’s lives to be better that his.
Speaking as a daughter of a seafarer, I salute and thank all seamen fathers in the world as much as I applaud all seafarers’ wives for all the sacrifices they had to give to pave way for a better future for us their children. No words will ever be enough to explain my gratitude to your selfless and unconditional love. I hope someday time comes when we can prove ourselves worthy… thank you…thank you very much!
Speaking as a wife to a seafarer, I give my hats off to all seamen in the world for giving so much of yourselves in order to provide a comfortable future for us your families. Please take comfort in the fact that we will take care of your family while you are away and that we will equally and willingly give ourselves in order to help you realize your dreams. Mostly, our dear husbands please take comfort in the fact that our love for you is strong enough to withstand the trials of time and distance. We will be constantly here serving as the light in the light house that guides you to your destination. See you back home soon… my one and only love my husband....