Monday, October 15, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
How to Make a Seafarer's Marriage Fun
Our Family are our life’s greatest joy.
However, a happy family does not happen over night. It is a result of concerted effort between husband and wife. Indeed, enjoying each other’s company through the years of blessed togetherness, is not just like a walk in the park. It requires to devote the BEST from each other. Initially, starting out from a change in attitude from negative to positive.
Some make it happen by following below rules:
1.) Be Mindful of Your Manners
This is sometimes easier said than done. Yet, it's an important place to start with. One of the most basic things to remember in keeping our marriage happy is to be polite and to treat each other with respect.
2.) Never Stop Courting
Relationships are never frozen. Relationships are fluid, and in the process of change. Consequently, courting is a constant thing.
Money is not an excuse for not having a date night. It's not important where you go or what you do as long as you are able to get away from the telephone, the children and the business, and be alone where you can look into each other’s eyes and talk to each other.
3.) Manage your Finances Well
Aside from sex, money is the second biggest cause of breakups in marriages. So, allow me to share with you a short and simple formula that has worked for us. Apply the 80/20 rule. Save at least 20% of your earnings and try to live with-in the remaining 80%.
4.) Enjoy Sex
Sex was meant by God, to be life’s greatest pleasure. Nobody has ever enjoyed sex more than those who have kept it within the confines of the marriage commitment. The first reason is that sex is safe when it is kept within the boundaries of a permanent relationship. The best safe sex is to find a super mate and make a commitment to be faithful to each other.
5.) Discover Mutual Interest and Friends
Marriage is the time to establish a whole new set of friends.
Marriage should comes first before your old buddy or your old girlfriend.
Find enjoyment in each other’s hobby or interest.
Learn to love what she or he likes and make it part of your bonding moments.
6.) Respect Your In-laws
The first rule in having a better relationship with your in laws is to put your own relationship before all others. The second rule is: Never tolerate conversation that includes negative insults about the other person's family. It is never wise to make unkind comments about your spouse's relatives. Remember, they came into his/her life first ahead of you.
7.) Find Real Happiness In Meaningful Relationships
It doesn't generate from the strength of your own brain power,
heart power or body power. Find real happiness in relationships that are meaningful. Make every moment that you are together worthwhile.
heart power or body power. Find real happiness in relationships that are meaningful. Make every moment that you are together worthwhile.
8.) Keep Your Mate In First Place
Make a personal decision to grow closer as the years go by. That starts early in marriage when the first child arrives. Don t let your children become more important than your husband or your wife. Your relationship as husband and wife must take the helm of priorities.
9.) Be Honest and Be Loyal
Don't ever lie. In a long distance relationship, there is no known formula for check and balance. When fidelity is breached, it is only between you and your conscience, if ever you had a fling or extra marital relationships while you are away.
10) Strengthen your Faith
It’s the basic fundamental to any relationship. Let HIM be the center of your relationship. A happy and successful union is always product of the TRIUMVIRATE reaction between GOD, husband and wife.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
These are the wisdoms held deeply in the hearts of the seafarers wife
As he reached the ship and stood upon her deck, he raises his voice and says: Though the sea bid me leave you, It is not without regret that I do so, yet I must go. For we are the keepers of the sea, ever seeking the lonelier way, I will begin nor end no day without thoughts of you, Brief will be my days among you, and briefer still my words I have spoken, though they be from my inner seafarers soul, I go with the wind but not into emptiness.
"She listens with her heart as she stands among the crowds, watching the departing of his ship upon the sea, each one possesses the knowledge of the winds beneath his wings without complete understanding".
She turns once more towards the sea, her soul crying out to him in its silent cry, singing, how often have you sailed away in my dreams, and now in my awakening, which is deeper than within my dreams How can she depart from her pain and aloneness without regret?
She closes her eyes, and prays in the silences of her soul. How shall I depart in peace, without sorrow, not without a wound, in my spirit shall I leave this shore, sadness engulfs her, with the thoughts of her lover in her heart.
Long are her days of pain, filled with the longing of his embrace, as long will be the nights of her aloneness: Not without thoughts, of what will not be, until his return, a heart made bittersweet, with hunger and thirst. For as the sea calls all things unto herself, so shall the sea quench her hunger and thirst.
She does not walk in vain, she has said in truth, that truth shall reveal itself in a clearer voice, and in more words closer to her own thoughts, If a day is not fulfilled of her needs and her love, then let it be a promise till another day, for no sunrise will find her where sunset left her.
She stands bare foot in the sands of the evening tide as the ocean spirit speaks to her, I know your joy and your pain, if this day is not a fulfillment of your needs, and your love, then let it be a promise till another day, when the tide brings back your lover, yet again from across the sea, to greet thee with his love.
Another breath, another loving look cast toward the sea, she sets her brow, her pride rising to take its place, as she holds its treasure in her heart, for the sea knows her joy is her sorrow unmasked, with head held high, its pride seen by all, who behold her beauty and are mystified at her strength, that only the seafarer of her wanting soul understands.
These are the wisdoms held deeply in the heart of the seafarers wife.
and this is my feelings when my husband is onboard...i really love him and miss him so much...
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Heavy school bags putting children at risk of back pain
They warned the heavy bags put pressure on discs between the vertebrae which can lead to long-term back pain in small, developing bodies.
Children can also suffer muscular pain, headaches, tingling and numbness in the arms and legs and even mobility problems.
Liar, liar! Top 10 lies moms tell
Missing candy
Absolutely not! Your dad and I would never have stayed up late last night eating all the rest of your delicious Easter candy.
How to cut your child's sugar intake
"The ice cream shop just isn't open."Strange hours
Gee, sweetie. I really wish we could get ice cream, too. But the ice cream shop just isn't open on Tuesdays.
School rules
I'm sorry, but you can't wear your favorite SpongeBob shirt today. The school called, and they made a new rule that you can no longer wear shirts with stains and holes in them.
Phony phone calls
Sorry, sweetheart. That kid that really grates on my nerves can't possibly join us at the zoo today. Yes, I totally called his mom.
Annoying toys that go MIA
I can't possibly imagine what happened to that toy that kept me up all night honking, whistling and singing nursery rhymes at a decibel so high only dogs can hear. Who knows? Maybe you lost it in the park.
Sleeping cartoon character
Bummer. You can't watch cartoons because Handy Manny and Thomas the Train are too tired to be on TV right now and are taking a nap.
Magic is real
Your friend is wrong. The tooth fairy is real. How do I know? I'm sure I saw him last week hiding something under your pillow.
Cheapo tooth fairies
And speaking of tooth fairies… Did you know the tooth fairy only has so much money for each household? That's why he can't afford to give you $5 like your friend Joey. He only gets that much because he's an only child.
Dirty laundry
Oh, no, honey. Your favorite blue dress you asked me to wash special for today is completely clean. It just looks wrinkled because I didn't fold it.
Dead pets
Don't cry. Mr. Fishy went to be with all the other fishies in the sky. What? No, I would never flush Mr. Fishy down the toilet. That was just a… um… yellow leaf I found on the floor.
5 Things Parents Shouldn't Say to Their Kids
t's no secret that parents should pay attention to how they communicate with their children. Even tiger moms and parents following the French style of raising children could agree that what we say to our kids and how we say it matters.
Tiger moms and French parents get the results they want largely because of what they say. But besides using words to get kids to do what they want, how moms and dads communicate with their kids directly impacts the parent-child relationship long term. And it's the simple statements parents make, usually in a moment of frustration with their young children, which can cause the most damage later on.
"Words hurt and they can't be taken back, so be careful" says Debbie Pincus, a therapist, parenting coach and author of "The Calm Parent: AM & PM." Team Mom on Shine asked Pincus and other parenting experts about the most common phrases that moms and dads say to young kids in the midst of parental panic. Don't feel bad if you've said them most parents have! "We're human. Our lives are crazy and sometimes we don't give ourselves time to pause and think," she says. "We don't want to be so careful that we're not authentic. We're real. Be passionate with your kids, be real, say what's on your mind. Say it passionately. Just be conscious and responsible, no matter who we talk to." Pincus adds that calm is contagious and better things come out of our mouths when we stop ourselves from reacting in the moment.
The bottom line is that as parents, we're teaching our kids how we want them to behave in similar situations; modeling the desired behavior is key. Check out what Pincus and others had to say about five things parents shouldn't say to kids and how to turn a moment of frustration into a positive life lesson.
"I don't care."
Little kids love to share details...of their playground conversations with friends, of the cloud formation they think looks like a sea serpent, of why they squeezed an entire tube of toothpaste into the bathtub. And sometimes? Parents just don't want to hear the specifics. But beware of saying "I don't care!" because you're cutting off communication with your child and saying that something important to him or her isn't so important to you. "Most parents have a difficult time once children reach the adolescent stages and complain that their teens are not communicative with them. Well, the question must be asked then, 'How has the parent-child communication been nurtured throughout the child's life?'" says Melinda Garcia, a licensed clinical social worker with ESCAPE Family Resource Center in Houston. "The process of parent-child communication must evolve positively over the years. There's an unspoken trust that occurs when communication is nurtured." Try this: Garcia recommends that parents let the child know an issue can be discussed later, perhaps at a better time when the parent is more focused. She stresses, however, that parents must follow through. "Don't let the day end without addressing your child's need to share with you."
"Act your age!"
Your daughter is seven years old but you think she's acting like she's three...and you tell her so. Pincus says this common reaction is less about the child's behavior and all about the parent trying to manage his or her own frustration. The child may, in fact, be acting their age. "It's just not working out for the parent," she says. "It makes us feel better in the moment." The result? Kids hear their parents criticizing them at a time when they, as children, are having trouble and perhaps need some help gaining control. Try this: Says Pincus, "When you are stirred up, just take that pause. Come up with an effective response instead of a reaction. Most of what we do is a knee-jerk reaction. That pause helps to get that adrenaline down so you can get the thinking part of your brain working instead of the emotional part of the brain."
"Say you're sorry!"
Your preschooler takes a toy from another child and makes him or her cry. You instantly tell your child to say sorry for his or her actions. You're trying to teach your child to be compassionate, which is a laudable goal. But "forcing a child to apologize does not teach a child social skills," says Bill Corbett, a parent educator, author, and producer/host of the parenting TV show "Creating Cooperative Kids." Young children don't automatically understand why they have to apologize. Corbett says that if parent forces a child to say they are sorry, "it could delay the child's natural acceptance" of apologizing. Try this: Apologize to the child for your kid as a way to model the behavior you're trying to encourage. And make sure that when you're in situations where an apology is warranted, you deliver it just as easily.
"Don't you get it?"
You've taught your kid how to catch a baseball five times over. Or how to add and subtract fractions. But when your child shows signs that it's not clicking for him or her, you hastily ask, "Don't you get it?" Learning specialist and author Jill Lauren tells Team Mom on Shine that this comment is degrading. "If the child 'got it,' which he desperately wants to do in order to please his parent, it would be clear. Implicit in a 'don't you get it' comment are the judgments of 'Why don't you get it?' followed by 'What's wrong with you for not getting it?' While a parent may not mean to send those messages, that is the message the child receives." Try this: Take a break. If you're stuck on how to teach your child something, step away. Return to the "lesson" when you're ready to try again, perhaps after researching alternative approaches to teaching whatever it is your child is trying to learn.
"I'm going to leave without you!"
Your kid refuses to leave the toy store or a park and you are going to be late for an appointment. So you issue an ultimatum sure to freak your child out: "I'm going to leave without you!" For young kids, fear of parental abandonment is very real. But what happens when your threat doesn't work? "The biggest problem is that we want our kids to believe what we say. For a whole host of reasons, we need our kids to believe us. If you want them to believe what we say is true, we cannot say something that is patently false," says Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor, parenting speaker, and mom of four boys. The result is that the child quickly learns that mom or dad makes empty threats. "Parents say it because they don't know what else to do...it's a bad idea," says Dr. Gilboa: "You need to strive not to make empty threats. If you plant a flag, you have to defend it...say what you mean and follow through." Try this: Don't tell your kids you're going to leave without them. Instead, plan ahead. Chances are high that you've seen your child behave this way before. You know what will trigger a tantrum. What will you say if your child throws a fit or refuses to leave? "It's okay to identify unacceptable behavior," says Dr. Gilboa. "You can tell them it's not acceptable but you have to motivate them with a consequence that you can carry out."
Tiger moms and French parents get the results they want largely because of what they say. But besides using words to get kids to do what they want, how moms and dads communicate with their kids directly impacts the parent-child relationship long term. And it's the simple statements parents make, usually in a moment of frustration with their young children, which can cause the most damage later on.
The bottom line is that as parents, we're teaching our kids how we want them to behave in similar situations; modeling the desired behavior is key. Check out what Pincus and others had to say about five things parents shouldn't say to kids and how to turn a moment of frustration into a positive life lesson.
"I don't care."
Little kids love to share details...of their playground conversations with friends, of the cloud formation they think looks like a sea serpent, of why they squeezed an entire tube of toothpaste into the bathtub. And sometimes? Parents just don't want to hear the specifics. But beware of saying "I don't care!" because you're cutting off communication with your child and saying that something important to him or her isn't so important to you. "Most parents have a difficult time once children reach the adolescent stages and complain that their teens are not communicative with them. Well, the question must be asked then, 'How has the parent-child communication been nurtured throughout the child's life?'" says Melinda Garcia, a licensed clinical social worker with ESCAPE Family Resource Center in Houston. "The process of parent-child communication must evolve positively over the years. There's an unspoken trust that occurs when communication is nurtured." Try this: Garcia recommends that parents let the child know an issue can be discussed later, perhaps at a better time when the parent is more focused. She stresses, however, that parents must follow through. "Don't let the day end without addressing your child's need to share with you."
Your daughter is seven years old but you think she's acting like she's three...and you tell her so. Pincus says this common reaction is less about the child's behavior and all about the parent trying to manage his or her own frustration. The child may, in fact, be acting their age. "It's just not working out for the parent," she says. "It makes us feel better in the moment." The result? Kids hear their parents criticizing them at a time when they, as children, are having trouble and perhaps need some help gaining control. Try this: Says Pincus, "When you are stirred up, just take that pause. Come up with an effective response instead of a reaction. Most of what we do is a knee-jerk reaction. That pause helps to get that adrenaline down so you can get the thinking part of your brain working instead of the emotional part of the brain."
"Say you're sorry!"
Your preschooler takes a toy from another child and makes him or her cry. You instantly tell your child to say sorry for his or her actions. You're trying to teach your child to be compassionate, which is a laudable goal. But "forcing a child to apologize does not teach a child social skills," says Bill Corbett, a parent educator, author, and producer/host of the parenting TV show "Creating Cooperative Kids." Young children don't automatically understand why they have to apologize. Corbett says that if parent forces a child to say they are sorry, "it could delay the child's natural acceptance" of apologizing. Try this: Apologize to the child for your kid as a way to model the behavior you're trying to encourage. And make sure that when you're in situations where an apology is warranted, you deliver it just as easily.
"Don't you get it?"
You've taught your kid how to catch a baseball five times over. Or how to add and subtract fractions. But when your child shows signs that it's not clicking for him or her, you hastily ask, "Don't you get it?" Learning specialist and author Jill Lauren tells Team Mom on Shine that this comment is degrading. "If the child 'got it,' which he desperately wants to do in order to please his parent, it would be clear. Implicit in a 'don't you get it' comment are the judgments of 'Why don't you get it?' followed by 'What's wrong with you for not getting it?' While a parent may not mean to send those messages, that is the message the child receives." Try this: Take a break. If you're stuck on how to teach your child something, step away. Return to the "lesson" when you're ready to try again, perhaps after researching alternative approaches to teaching whatever it is your child is trying to learn.
"I'm going to leave without you!"
Your kid refuses to leave the toy store or a park and you are going to be late for an appointment. So you issue an ultimatum sure to freak your child out: "I'm going to leave without you!" For young kids, fear of parental abandonment is very real. But what happens when your threat doesn't work? "The biggest problem is that we want our kids to believe what we say. For a whole host of reasons, we need our kids to believe us. If you want them to believe what we say is true, we cannot say something that is patently false," says Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor, parenting speaker, and mom of four boys. The result is that the child quickly learns that mom or dad makes empty threats. "Parents say it because they don't know what else to do...it's a bad idea," says Dr. Gilboa: "You need to strive not to make empty threats. If you plant a flag, you have to defend it...say what you mean and follow through." Try this: Don't tell your kids you're going to leave without them. Instead, plan ahead. Chances are high that you've seen your child behave this way before. You know what will trigger a tantrum. What will you say if your child throws a fit or refuses to leave? "It's okay to identify unacceptable behavior," says Dr. Gilboa. "You can tell them it's not acceptable but you have to motivate them with a consequence that you can carry out."
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